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On our honeymoon, my husband discovered something shocking about me - something he never saw coming. (And that folks, is officially the worst opening line to a post I've ever written!) No it was not a vestigial tail or third nipple. Rather, this is how we started our first day of wedded bliss together:
Him: You ready to go?
Me, eyes glued to the TV screen: Just a sec.
Him: Wait, what are you watching? Is that... MTV?!
Me: Yeah, it's The Real World reunion.
Him: The what?
Me: Shhhh!
Him: Don't you want to go to the beach?
Me: Just give me 37 minutes.
Him: You've got to be kidding me.
Being poor - and very busy - college students we never watched TV which is why he never knew that the girl he committed to spend the rest of eternity with was harboring a secret penchant for crap TV.
Most people assume when the husband and I tell them that we don't watch TV or movies (it'll be 3 years come January!) that it's due to some well thought out moral stance. Um, no. The real reason is a) we're both too ADHD to sit still for an entire show, much less a movie and b) crap television sucks me in like a vortex. (It probably stems from the same personality flaw that makes it impossible for me to walk by a People magazine without at least looking at the cover.) There are 2 exceptions to the no-TV rule: BBC documentaries and anything involving dancing.
It was the latter weakness that got me today at the gym (Yes, I went. All I did was walk. No, there was no more bleeding. But I suppose that tells you how well I'm doing with the no exercise prescription. More on that ball of anxiety and tears in another post.) I was drawn like a Kardashian to a camera crew to our brand new treadmills. They have built-in TVs. There's even a headphone jack so I don't have to share my terrible taste with the rest of the Gym Buddies. And sure enough, they get MTV!
Did you know they have a show called America's Best Dance Crew? It has Randy Jackson! And Mario Lopez! (Albeit with his shirt on, ladies.) And crazy hip hop dance crews that make Step It Up look gangsta! I mean seriously, check out who won:
They have SEQUINED PANTIES with ARM WARMERS and BOOTIES and a MICHAEL JACKSON GLOVE! And check out the dance that goes with those costumes! How can you not LOVE THAT?And then after that, MTV's True Life came on. I won't say it is particularly true to life but is sure fascinating! They had two pregnant girls! Both trying to decide if they should give their baby up for adoption! And then a girl who is a raving sports fanatic! Wheee! Next Gym Buddy Megan showed up and told me about her fave MTV show (see Mom, I'm not the only adult who still watches it!), Made, which got me so excited I got tingly.
Next thing I knew, I'd walked for an hour and forty-five minutes.
And this is why I don't watch TV.
Any of you have a weakness for terrible television? What do you like to watch when you're on the treadmill?
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